Embracing discomfort in self & others

Embracing the Discomfort of Conflict

Conflict is an inevitable part of life, and mediation and restorative practice provide a structured process to work though it. While these processes offer pathways to resolution, they also bring doubt a level of discomfort, especially when individuals face difficult conversations.

This discomfort is natural, often tied to deep emotions and the vulnerability of being truly heard. Many of us instinctively want to avoid these moments, but what if we saw them as opportunities to listen, reflect, and grow?

In this blog, we explore how to navigate the discomfort of conflict and move towards more meaningful communication.

Approaches to Facing Discomfort

Both mediation and restorative practice require participants to engage deeply with their own emotions and to listen openly to others, even when the topics are challenging. There are two contrasting ways to engage with discomfort:

The direct approach involves actively engaging with difficult conversations. This method encourages clarity and the courage to face tough emotions, staying grounded in the process. It’s about addressing issues head-on, moving forward with purpose even when resistance arises.

In contrast, the receptive approach invites participants to pause and create space for emotions to surface. This might involve taking a deep breath and listening intently, allowing emotions to flow without rushing to respond. By softening into the experience, participants can create room for greater understanding and connection.

In both mediation and restorative practice, balancing these approaches is key. By staying present and resisting the urge to either dominate the conversation or retreat from it, individuals can navigate the discomfort of conflict with grace and clarity.

Practical Steps to Embrace Discomfort

These sessions often involve moments of vulnerability, where the urge to fix, defend, or escape may feel overwhelming. Instead, consider these steps to engage more effectively:

• Breathe and Ground Yourself

  When tensions rise, take a deep breath and centre yourself. Focus on your feet on the ground, the rhythm of your breath, and the sensations in your body. Grounding helps you stay calm and less reactive.

• Listen Without Judging

  True listening requires setting aside your own perspectives momentarily to fully hear the other person. Pay attention to both their words and the emotions behind them. Avoid planning your response while they are speaking; instead, focus on understanding.

• Notice and Name Your Emotions

  Pay attention to what’s happening inside you. Is your heart racing? Are you feeling defensive? Acknowledge these feelings without judgment. Naming emotions (“I notice I feel frustrated”) can help create space for reflection and reduce reactivity.

• Pause Before Responding

  Resist the urge to react immediately. Take a moment to consider your words and the impact they might have. Thoughtful responses often lead to more productive conversations.

• Stay Present, Not Solution-Focused

  Both mediation and restorative practice are processes. While finding resolutions is the goal, the journey involves staying present and engaging with each step. Trust that clarity and solutions will emerge through patience and openness.

Embracing Discomfort for Connection & Resolution

The discomfort experienced during mediation and restorative practice is not a barrier but a bridge. It creates the conditions for deeper understanding, trust, and resolution. By sitting with discomfort and engaging fully with the process, participants can transform conflict into an opportunity for growth.

The next time you find yourself in a mediation or restorative practice session, try pausing, breathing, and listening deeply. You may discover that within the discomfort lies the potential for healing, connection, and lasting peace.